There have been times, after having had a session with a child or teen who has spent most of their young life moving around the world, that I wish I could sit down with their parents, international teachers, and school counselor to chat about my client. I would want to brainstorm together on how to make the child’s school and international experience better.
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Lois Bushong, Author of Belonging Everywhere and Nowhere: Insights into Counseling the Globally Mobile brings us her 5 Essentials For Parents Transitioning Kids Abroad guide. Lois has extensive personal and professional experience working with both expat parents, Third Culture Kids (TCKs) and Adult Third Culture Kids and her work focuses on embracing the benefits and managing the challenges that the expat families face when going through global transitions.
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“I can’t make any friends here”!
I think this is the most frequent complaint that I hear from my TCK clients. It doesn’t matter their age, I heard it from several of the teen TCKs last summer who presented for therapy in my office. I heard it from a couple of young, adult TCKs fresh out of college as they were trying to negotiate their new world. And most recently, I heard it from my middle age, TCK client.
No matter their age, their complaints are the same.
- People are so superficial in this town.
- I just can’t do chit chat or small talk.
- My peers are obsessed about things (shows on television, sports teams, or the latest gossip in their world or in the world of the rich and famous) that I don’t care about at all.
- The friends that I do have do not care to hear about my world(s).
- I feel all alone even though I am surrounded by people.